Things of course changed between us after she was clear that I had left Islam, but nevertheless she was still friendly towards me. However, I maintained a distance between us, only allowing contact through the internet.
Anyway, she dreamt that I died. Actually, I was already aware that when she told me she had a horrible dream, it should be of my death.
As expected, it was definitely horrible, as well as unbelievable.
She dreamt that after I die, I took a sudden change into the figure of a dog. Of course, this is physically impossible to happen. I don’t think even magic can turn me into such creatures. Of course, unless you believe in Harry Potter.
Anyway, what she told me was that, my dog turned dead body was brought forward to my parents' home and my husband (yea, we got married!) was there as well.
While the ‘imam’ (Muslim priest) was praying upon me and some people were wrapping my body with kafan (white burial shroud), I suddenly started to writhe, and then I turned to the side and started wailing like a baby. Everyone around me went into an utter shock and were frightened. (Too much horror movie I presume. Did anyone think that maybe I went into a coma?)
I told my friend that I knew why I wailed. I told her sarcastically that I wailed because I would never ever wish to be buried as a Muslim, and then I laughed about it. (I know, it’s so cool, like a slap across her face.) Of course, she went, ‘nonsense!’.
My friend was very frightened of this. She told me that she generally do not believe that dreams come true, however she felt this one would. (Isn't that ironic?)
I told her, I think it already happened.
What I see in this dream is totally different from her view. As an ex-Muslim, I know these stupid stories regarding torments in grave, hell and such are forced into a Muslim's mind. We even have DVD movies to get people to fear the worst out of nothing!
Life cannot be simple and free for a Muslim, pathetically.
The truth is, I am actually able to interpret dreams. Well, at least some. What I believe is that dreams are messages that our subconscious are revealing to us. Dreams are generally deep emotions that we keep hidden within us. Also, since I do believe in a certain amount of the supernatural world, I believe it’s possible that it can be one of the cause for dreams.
In this dream, I interpreted its elements as such:
Death: When you normally have dreams of death, it usually means change. (If anyone believes in Tarot readings, they also interpret it this way.)My death reveals my change. As the scene is of a Muslim's funeral preparation, it means that I have changed, from a Muslim, into someone against it, or someone out of Islam.
Wailing like a baby: It obviously indicates that I have been reborn. Babies cry at birth. That’s how we know they are alive. So it simply means, I have been reborn into a whole new person.Nothing insulting about it. I rather be a dog than a damn retarded Muslim. After all, dogs are cute! I love dogs! Perhaps if I become a dog, I would have a loving non-Muslim owner whom I can play fetch with.
The Dog Creature: This is complicated, for sure. But the nearest I can understand is that Muslims hate dogs and view them as despicable creatures (thanks to their pathetic prophet). So as of the moment I turn my back against Islam, in their view I have become equal to a dog. A despicable creature.
I thanked my friend for telling me about this dream. Of course this time I didn’t mean it sarcastically but truthfully because the dream actually makes me feel better, like letting me know that my Muslim side is dead. No worries about that side anymore. I know I don’t want to be a Muslim anymore, but years of fears are also there, trying to get through to me.
My friend was insistent that these dreams were showing her that I would be punished by ‘God’.
I told her simply and calmly that I don’t believe in the existence of Allah. Yea, I mentioned the name straight like it didn’t matter. Why do I need to care about what does not exist?
She told me she didn’t say it was Allah. Isn’t that ironic? Come on, a Muslim is not suppose to believe in any God except Allah (a delusion created by their beloved prophet (pbuh where p ≠ peace)). The only God she believes in is Allah.
I told her, as sarcastically, the ‘God’ I believe in does not force humans to worship him or torment us in hell. (Again, it’s so cool, like a slap across her face.)
Of course she continued trying to get me to accept her illusion, like hanging hopelessly onto a piece of tattered cloth.
In the end, I changed the subject. What use is there to argue with a brain the size of a pea?
Pitiful Muslims have no sense of freedom and independence. They have to hang on to somewhere, even if it is that stupid tattered cloth and yea, they did prove that they will hang on to something hopeless till they die.
I have to admit that I did feel fear within me but I also know that it was due to all those years of getting forcefed with Muslim beliefs and fear of almost everything.
Fear is a tool used to control us. It’s like a shackle that keeps us from moving around freely. There are many shackles, but no one says you cannot break them. The only way to live free is to face your fears and get through it to freedom.
Fear will always be with us, but we must learn to control it, not the other way round. I believe I am already doing it.
And I will continue doing it, till I die.