Saturday, January 23, 2010

Joke of the day

Eating with right hand:

It seems quite right that the Muslims claim that one should only eat using their right hand and never their left hand, as their left is supposedly used to clean us up after doing our business in the bathroom. At the same time Muslims claim that everything given to them by their 'Allah' is good and thus they should not claim it otherwise but yet still they prejudice their own hands negatively wrapping on the illusion regarding which hand is to be used to eat. The most ironic thing, they actually claim that  it is the 'Jinns' attitude to eat using its left hand.

Pitying Someone:

Do you know that a Muslim should not pity another person, be they believer or not? Muslims claim that pitying another's pain would result it upon them as they claim that one who is in pain deserves it cause it is their punishment from 'Allah' upon them for whatever sin they must have done. Thus pitying them will cast 'Allah's' wrath upon you. Oh and you may ask, what about the innocent children who suffer? Well these children actually suffer upon their parents sin. So Merciful He is indeed! How well Muhammad has done to kill human emotions of pity upon mankind. How pitiful they are indeed.

Bathing Naked:

One should bath with themselves covered up (private parts only) or the satan will caress their private parts and awaken stronger sexual desires within them. As desires are equal to evil. Ironically, within the hadith there is a part regarding Moses and his people bathing naked:
Volume 1, Book 5, Number 277:
Narrated Abu Huraira: 
The Prophet said, 'The (people of) Bani Israel used to take bath naked (all together) looking at each other. The Prophet Moses used to take a bath alone. They said, 'By Allah! Nothing prevents Moses from taking a bath with us except that he has a scrotal hernia.' So once Moses went out to take a bath and put his clothes over a stone and then that stone ran away with his clothes. Moses followed that stone saying, "My clothes, O stone! My clothes, O stone! till the people of Bani Israel saw him and said, 'By Allah, Moses has got no defect in his body. Moses took his clothes and began to beat the stone." Abu Huraira added, "By Allah! There are still six or seven marks present on the stone from that excessive beating."
Do not eat Halal food prepared by Chinese:

I don't know about other Muslims, but this is what my parents have been taught by their leader. This is some of the most ridiculous things they have been practicing. Chinese people are seen as unclean, as they eat pork and drink alcohol, and they have not clean their hands or legs in a proper way after touching 'haram' (unclean) things. Chinese are believed to be as you all know, they are unbelievers so which means, considered animals to their eyes, so of course a human can't eat what an animal cook, right? Unfortunately, they are blind. The believers have always been the animals. Haha!

Brazil Chicken or Village Chicken:

Another ridiculous thing taught by parents' leader. Somehow, some way, their leader got the idea that the non-believers are injecting pig fat into these fluttering creatures to make them grow fat and big so they have more flesh. God knows, if such things even exist, but well, village chickens are usually fresh and I don't know once again, where the leader get the idea that Brazil chicken is clean. Also, they forbid these, because the chickens were not slaughtered in any Islamic way, as in screaming 'Allahu Akhbar' before slitting its throat. Usually chickens go through machines, where they inject these chickens to make them barely conscious, or so they say. Whatever the reason is, I still question why only chicken, since all our other meat also goes through that process.

Coca Cola:

Also the same ridiculous crap from my parents' group somehow getting information that the company is actually donating some of their profit to some wine company. I still wonder, why would some wine company need donation when they might be making more money than some pathetic gassy can drink.

There's also something that Muslims found out about the way Coca Cola was written that when turned inverted, whichever way, it seems to sort of form an arabic sentence that says 'Laa Muhammad Laa Makkah', which means No Muhammad  No Mecca.  Here's the image:
Seems like the Coca Cola company got it right.

Jinn and Magic of Islam:

Alright, this is sort of an issue. Jinns are considered evil beings that are known as helpers of Satan, the acursed one. Muslim considered, all idols as Jinns taking form within the statue to be God. Since Jinns are made from fire, and goes against Allah, following a Jinn way is like following its way straight to HellFire. Ironically, they claimed that Jinns are also used to help heal people. Used to help solve magical problems. Like for example, if one is needed to become a spiritual healer, they have to have a Jinn as their Guardian. Doesn't mean they worship them, but it means they used or force such Jinn to do their biddings. Yet at the same time, they also become reliable upon that Jinn, as their healing powers come from it.

So if Allah, is that great, why does he not help these people to heal with the help of his power, instead using the power of their enemy. I mean doesn't this prove something is wrong with their Allah? Maybe he is just powerless, which I'm sure he is.

Sad.

Reason for baby crying at birth:

I'm not sure how many Muslims believe this,but this was what had been taught to me by my parents. As ridiculous as it is, I thought it was actually true, until I grew up and learn about science. Well my mother says that an infant in a mother's womb, is as innocent and as knowledgable. When the baby arrives, it lets out a scream and starts crying because it is crying to Allah as to why he/she was born into the world where sinners exist. Quite interesing and extremely funny to know this theory as anyone with common sense will know that a child coming out from the warmth heat of her/his mother's womb cries at the first hit of cold air. Muslims are great inventors of stories.

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